Lent: The Serenity Prayer: Lines 2-4

In the first blog post (Lent: The Serenity Prayer) from this book, I ended by saying, “We have to be willing to trust in our relationship with the Holy, our Creator. We need to actually practice what the prayer says.”

I am still struck how our understanding of Sanctifying Grace is so similar to how serenity will grow over time.  It takes time to cultivate, we need God to make it happen, and we must recognize this is a gift from God.

Now I am focusing on Chapters 2, 3, and 4. These chapters focus on lines 2, 3, and 4 of the prayer, respectively. Keep in mind, if you say the short version of the prayer this could be where the prayer ends.

• To accept the things I cannot change

• The courage to change the things I can

• And the wisdom to know the difference

Wisdom to know the difference—well that seems to be asking a lot personally, but I first want to reflect on the first two lines in this blog post.

Accept the things I cannot change—raise your hand if that is just hard for you.  My hand is raised.  He uses a great image in the book, but I want to use my own.

I cannot change that I have Rheumatoid Arthritis.  It has affected my life in different ways since I was 18.  When it does negatively impact me, it can and has made me angry, overwhelmed, sad, depressed, and even things I can’t put into words.  Trust me, the losses, pain, anger, and sorrow attached could have taken me under; however, God helped me learn and grow, and the way Hudson puts it in this chapter is wonderful: “Prayer can become a close friend…Praying it in times of loss does not mean we must deny our grief or pretend…We befriend our tears, share our pain, and express our anger…often leads us along that healing path towards deeper peace.” (32)  This is great because it reminds us it is not fast, but it grows and we need God because it will not happen from our own will.

I will always have Rheumatoid Arthritis, and as I get older new issues appear. I can’t change what is happening, but I can find peace if I turn it over to God.

Hudson categorized things we can’t change into three categories. Regrets about the past, unchangeable situations, and other people.

Amen to ‘other people,’ because we cannot change them even if we want to and try our hardest. It won’t work. All we can do is love and care for others.

Courage to change the things I can—I can say right now I can think of many people with courage.  But most of the time we find it hard to stand up and change things or stick to what we believe in because everyone else is going a different way.

But here is the thing; this chapter is not about changing others, because what did I just say? You can’t change others.  It’s about changing yourself.

To change ourselves we have to admit we have character flaws (we all do) and be willing to turn to God for help with working on it.

Example: do you see people being critical of others?  Well, if you are seeing it in others, you are being in some form that way also.  You can pray and ask God for help in that area of your life and work to not be critical of others.

The last line we will look at is: the wisdom to know the difference.  When you are in pain or have been hurt, it is hard to know the difference.  You have to face the choice of whether to try to change something or accept it. The outcome of that decision can truly affect the peace you have inside.

People think knowledge will help, but here is what Hudson says: “wisdom … is knowing how to use what we know sensibly, being able to sift through different options, distinguish true from false, discriminate between good and evil, and choose the best way forward.” (47)  That is so much more than gathering knowledge/information.

Wisdom comes from God or as Hudson says, “wisdom is a gift that comes from God.” (48) We have to ask first and then it comes gradually.  He uses a flashlight as an example because it only lights up a bit of the path; just enough for us to take a few steps at a time. 

The biggest thing is we have to listen for the wisdom. When we do all the talking, God can’t give us the wisdom. Another way to put it is GOD CAN’T TALK if we constantly get in the way.

We have to be willing to listen for God to know what kind of situation we are in and to know our best path forward while also finding the peace we are looking for. One key point: God’s path is not always the easy path. Sometimes the path with the most inner peace at the end will be the hardest along the way.