Loss, Grief, & Mourning

We interchange loss, grief/grieving, and mourning in our everyday language all the time.  We even do it in scripture, at least when it is translated in English.  But there are differences to these terms, and we should know them.  I will explain briefly here, but if you want more discussion, join me in one of my Grief classes, or we can create a class/workshop designed for your group.

When we think of “loss,” we all think of the loss of a loved one due to death.  This is not all that loss is. Yes, this is an example of loss, but it is not the only one. So, what is loss?

Loss is a real or perceived removal of something meaningful.  There are two important ideas in this definition.

Real vs perceived – the loss can range from a person, a job, or some other physical thing) to dreams, hopes, or how we picture ourselves (ideas and thoughts in our minds).

Meaningful - what is meaningful is determined by the affected person/group. Other people can't determine what is deemed meaningful even though we would like to at times.  This means for some a pet death may not be meaningful and for others it is very painful.

We tend to think of mourning and grief as the same thing; however, they are not the same, just connected.

Grief is the emotions every person experiences with loss. The emotions may sadness, anger, hope, fear, or others.

Mourning is the way we see grief manifest in people. These are the outward signs of grief. We can see it in a person’s physical, behavioral, or mental state, and we may notice how it is affecting a person’s soul’s well-being.  You can have positive and negative signs.

The key point: grief is the actual emotion being felt, which is important to know, and mourning is how it is affecting you and how you are seeing it come out in the world.

If you have had a loss and you think you are doing well, yet you have been having unexplained emotional blowups or you are having heart palpitations that can’t be explained, there may be emotions you are feeling but are not dealing with.

You may not even know consciously all the losses at play that are affecting your emotions. Sometimes having a companion to walk/talk with you for a time can be helpful.  They can help you figure out deeper and healthier ways of dealing with loss, grief, and mourning.